i realized

that my BM sucks... big time man... i need a english-malay dictionary for every other in the sentence... this is very malufying. its not that i cant speak the english (i can... very well ok... mencarut semua boleh ok..!) its just that when it comes to writing.. its SO difficult. lagi-lagi when its as formal as terms and conditions... damn!

that if i leave the office at 5.45pm SHARP... i would reach home at about 6.30pm (on a good day... no delay in lrt and all). AND i would be able to go jogging for at least 30 mins round the block... hhhmmm...

that i have this thing about fishies... i love fishies... i found that out when i went to Aquaria last year and also on my trip to Tioman... real live fishies ok... i dont do plastic fishies ok. i love watching them... staring at them... i am so gonna go to Aquaria AGAIN one of these days if my gorgeous darling will let me bore him to death at Aquaria... (he reads this... heheh...) and i am so gonna be snorkelling everyday when we get our butts in Perhentian... yayay!! i cant wait... in the meantime, i will have to get my abs in shape (mainly my perutlah... if not the bikini will be staying in KL) or i might scare those beautiful fishies away...

any suggestions of where to stay in perhentian? tak mau hostel... thank you vely muuch!

for those who are 25 yo... and above -_-

Being Twenty-Something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe you can love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

are we going through that now??

new diet regime!

i am gonna start my "detox cum no dinner cum no rice" diet
i have to lose another 4kg back to my original weight
and another 4 kg to my "dream" weight

i need to lose at least 1kg by end of this week...
and the rest by end of april....
oklah... at least 3kg by end of april

but definitely all of it by august!

i will have to start my yoga again...
jogging in the late evening... if i terlarat

i am gonna weigh myself when i get home..
so we'll see...

today i had:
for breakfast--> oats and tea
for lunch--> spagetthi (yg pedas...), 2 small squares of strawberry sponge cake and air oren(i went to a colleague's farewell...)

no dinner for me tonight!!!

dua puluh enam tahun kak...

just now i was asked by the tea lady of my age..

"dik keesha umur berapa tahun sekarang?"

"saya 26 thn tahun nie, kak"

then... i realise that i am really gonna turn 26 this year

arent you suppose to be matured by 26
arent you suppose to have a well-paying job... stable job by 26
savings of RM XXXX, at least by 26
be in a relationship of more than 1 year minimum by 26
arent you suppose to be married by 26

kan? tak betul ke...??

i am NO WHERE near those... -_-

dont feel like mature 26 yo.. more like a mature 23 yo maybe
well-paying job... nope, stable... maybe
no savings to speak... *looks down*
in a relationship... yes, more than a year... NOT YET..
married.... hah!!! nampak gaya macam lambat lagi...

macammane nie....

but all i can i say is that... i am a happy soon-to-be 26 year GIRL...

bad day

i am paranoid...

how do i NOT be paranoid...?? HOW?

please, please tell me how??

i need to know...

its making me crazy...

the star weekender

my hunny masuk papers... heheh... go here!

for miss october!

OCTOBER
Loves to chat
Loves those who loves him
Loves to takes things at the centre
Attractive and suave
Inner and physical beauty
Does not lie or pretend
Sympathetic
Treats friends importantly
Always making friends
Easily hur! t but recovers easily
Bad tempered
Selfish
Seldom helps unless asked
Daydreamer
Very opinionated
Does not care of what others think
Emotional
Decisive
Strong clairvoyance
Loves to travel, the arts and literature
Soft-spoken, loving and caring * Romantic
Touchy and easily jealous
Concerned
Loves outdoors
Just and fair
Spendthrift and easily influenced
Easily lose confidence

alone...

i enjoy walking alone from the lrt station to the office in the mornings
unless im late...

i like sitting by myself doing my sudoku while waiting for my parents
unless im super tired...

i like having my tea and french toast at my favourite kopitiam alone
unless mr bf joins me...

i like reading my magazines in my room alone with my cat
unless CSI is on...

i like staying home alone doing my chores
unless its dark outside...

does it make me a loner...?

april and august

if u wanna know for your month... let me know k

AUGUST
Loves to joke
Attractive
Suave and caring
Brave and fearless
Firm and has leadership qualities
Knows how to console others
Too generous and egoistic
Takes high pride of oneself
Thirsty for praises
Extraordinary spirit
Easily angered
Angry when provoked
Easily jealous
Observant
Careful and cautious
Thinks quickly
Independent thoughts
Loves to lead and to be led
Loves to dream
Talented in the arts, music and defense
Sensitive but not petty
Poor resistance against illnesses
Learns to relax
Hasty and rushy
Romantic
Loving and caring
Loves to make friends

APRIL

Active and dynamic
Decisive and hateful but tends to regret
Attractive and affectionate to oneself
Strong mentality
Loves attention
Diplomatic
Consoling
Friendly and solves people's problems
Brave and fearless
Adventurous
Loving and caring
Suave and generous
Emotional
Revengeful
Aggressive
Hasty
Good memory
Moving
Motivate oneself and the others
Sickness usually of the head and chest
Easily get too jealous

sway with me..

today... at approximately 11.50 ish while sitting quietly at my desk, i felt myself sway. and i thought to myself... "pening ke?" then i felt the swaying again. i look at my water bottle just to make sure that it was me having a headache and not the building swaying... and guess what i saw? the water in the bottle was moving...

i panicked! i quickly stood up... and saw my colleagues looking at each other. one asked if anyone felt anything... immediately everyone (in the unitlah...) started talking including me. i saw another colleague at the other end of the office reaching for her bag. then, another colleague asked everyone to leave the building. then another one was almost histerical... walking very fast out of the office saying "building goyang, building goyang!" apelagi... semua paniclah... we took our belongings... and rushed out! crammed into the lift... and went down.

when we got to ground floor... everyone was as usual... like nothing happened... we stood around... (terkena pulak... t-shirt day, so everyone was wearing our red campaign t-shirt) looking very boria in our t-shirt. since no one could tell us anything, most of us went for lunch.. it was 12 ish by then.

i went to kfc... so much for my diet! oh my god... goyang again!!! its exactly 1.51pm now... its stronger than the one before. scary shit!!

anyway... sumatra had an earthquake. 5.8 on the richter scale. read here! and we felt the tremors... we are on the 34th floor. so we can imagine how we felt... manelah kot-kot the building nak runtuh ke *looking for wood touch* wallahualam...

oklah... enough drama for today... hopefully no more tremors...

maliq n d'essentials

i love this song... absolutely!! they have been around for awhile... and they sound so good!!

enjoy!

ketika, kurasakan sudah

ada ruang di hatiku yang kau sentuh

dan ketika, ku sadari sudah

tak selalu indah cinta yang ada

mungkin memang, ku yang harus mengerti

bila ku bukan yang ingin kau miliki

salahkah ku bilakau lah yang ada di hatiku

adakah ku singgah di hatimu,

mungkinkah kau rindukan ada ku

adakah ku sedikit di hatimu

bila kah ku mengganggu harimu,

mungkin kau tak inginkan adaku

akankah ku sedikit di hatimu

bila memang, ku yang harus mengerti

mengapa cintamu tak dapat ku miliki

salahkah ku bila

kau lah yang ada di hatiku

kau yang ada, di hatiku

bila cinta kita tak kan tercipta

ku hanya sekedar ingin tuk mengerti

adakah diriku, oh singgah di hatimu

dan bilakah kau tau,

kau yang ada, di hatiku

kau yang ada, di hatiku

adakah ku, di hatimu