i realized...

today... all of us went in work late. someone locked the door, so we couldnt get in until 9.20 am, i think. well... i punched in at 9.20am.

i realized that i'm not independent enough. they are a few things that girls my age can do on their on but i chose not to. i have this thing about wanting someone to 'teman' me to places that i need to go... places like the bank or 7-11. now, i think it's ridiculous! i've sent my car to service a couple of times before and i still need him to follow me and talk to the guy.

anyway... i realized that i'm a routine person. as much as i would like to be an un-routine person and do things differently everyday... i guess i'm not. it's actually comforting and i like to know that things will be going the way that they should as always. i wake every working day about the same time... i'm out of the house latest by 8.10am so that i'll be at work by 8.27am. i try to finish work by 6.00 to 6.30 pm... go home, have dinner... watch TV, play with coco and go to sleep. on the days that i do go out with him, i'm always (well almost always) home by 11.30pm at the latest, so that i can go to bed by 12.30. hhmmm... having written it down like so... my life sure looks and feels boring. but it's comfortable.... things will be a little different now since my dad will in Penang more often. weekends are about the same, saturday... if i'm not working i'll be sleeping in. i'll be out in the afternoon with my girlfriends. at night... the same. same goes for sunday...

after speaking to my friend just now, i cant imagine myself being married. (we were talking about a mutual who just got married... it got me thinking...). when you're married, you have another person you have to think about everyday. you may not need breakfast in the morning but he might. so then, you have to wake earlier everyday to make breakfast for him. that.. will be out of my routine. a lot of things were said between the both of us that got me thinking about getting married. last year, i really wanted to get married (i dunno why... must be the hormones)... this year i dont want to get maried... at least not now or this year. i want to mentally and emotionally ready for marriage. and of course i want to sure that i'm marrying the right ONE.

i need to know that i'm independent enough to be on my own before i get married. what do u think?

calos!